What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Sure no problem officer.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

HELLO

Have you ever had your crush reject you, and then later you all dated and married?

After a few moments he returns.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Why should we share our wife with others?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Yes sir it is.

Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?

{RING} {RING}

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Why do I feel bad when I see white girls dating black guys, am I racist?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

What is your age now, and what age do you prefer to stay at forever?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.